Posted in Life, Philosophy, Psychology

What is the Limit of Sacrifice in Relationships?

We all have different temperaments. Some of us can be extremely selfish, on the other hand some of us tend to consistently compromise on our beloved ones. But to what extent should someone be compromised in her relationships? What is the limit of altruism or selfishness?

In Europe or the USA, people are act more individually compared to the Middle East. In the society I live in, altruism is praised and individuality is considered as selfishness. In Turkey, like the other Mediterranean countries, social relationships are quite important. Here, the opinions of others are more important than the individual’s own wishes. Especially in smaller settlements and more rural areas. That’s why the people here always compromise themselves.

However, compromise is not the same as doing good. Compromise is making sacrifice.

And, sacrifice breeds anger.

To sacrifice is to offer what is your right to someone else. This is doing self-injustice for others. It’s not caring about yourself and not giving yourself the value you deserve. Only those do this who don’t have self-confidence, who don’t love themselves, who haven’t been taught their own value in childhood.

We can do good, but nobody should be expected to sacrifice. Of course, parents compromise to some extent their own wishes, until their children grow up. Because having a child is a responsibility. On the other hand, it is not good to sacrifice even for our parents and siblings.

I’ll tell you why.

While man compromises himself, he actually does evil to both himself and the other.

He does evil to himself because he gives his own to the other. He does harm to the other person because his sacrifice irritates him against the other person and because he takes the responsibility of that person and makes life easier for that person.

If we assume the responsibilities of a person, we won’t do that person a favor since we prevent that person from improving. People can only progress by fulfilling their responsibilities, straining, struggling, and trying again and again.

Besides, we begin to feel hostile to the people we sacrificed. Thus, our relationship gets worse over time. 

If we want to be loved or help people, we should encourage people in their struggles rather than compromise on ourselves.

When making a decision, we must ask ourselves if we really want it. Are we making this decision for someone else? We should not ignore our own wishes.

We all have our own lives.

The free man is not the one who does what he wants; but the one who doesn’t do what he doesn’t want to do.

It may be necessary to make some sacrifices for our loved ones, sometimes. Actually I also make MANY sacrifices and compromise myself. That’s how I was raised, unfortunately.

But we have to make sure we don’t exceed the limit.

Posted in Life, Motivation, Psychology

Handling My New Reality

This year we are facing with a lot of disasters, as you know. Only Covid-19 pandemic is enough to make us feel depressed. However, my private life has its own “disasters” too. 

I’m having really tough times. Probably the worst ever. There is a whole change in my life. Even my routine has FULLY changed. 

I’m not the one who responsible for what happened. But the situations affect me anyway.

To be honest, I believe I have kept being strong. And actually, I haven’t felt that strong before. (Still, I complained a lot.)

I should pull myself together.

I know I can’t bring back the old days; but I can adapt to my new reality. I just have to.

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

John C. Maxwell

Step by step, I’m going to establish a routine for maintaining psychological well-being and productivity. But this time, it’s not gonna be an experimentation. Eventually, I think I need consistency. I want to have lifetime routines. 

More or less I discovered how any habit affects myself.  I virtually learned what makes me satisfied or depressed.

All of my sadness, anger or worries are root in my disappointments only about myself.

Unless I achieve being myself, I won’t be truly happy. Unless I live life how I want to live it, I won’t be satisfied.

I have an ideal life that I somehow try to catch it. While sometimes I’m so determined and productive, other times my dreams seem too gorgeous to me then I don’t even make an effort to touch them.

This giving up periods are impeding my progress. To make my dreams come true I should always be on my way. Maybe I can’t go forward every time, at least I need to keep my position, my distance; I mean my closeness with my dreams. 

The ability to change constantly and effectively is made easier by high-level continuity.

Michael Porter

If we agree on 2020 is the worst year ever, just let me know that.

Posted in Life, Lifestyle, List, Motivation, Philosophy, Psychology

15 Things I Have Learned From My Experiences

Trying to find a better way of living, I have made too many changes in my life. They all were kinda experiments. If you haven’t read yet, you may check out My Story first.

Here what I have learned from experiencing different lifestyles:

  1. There are various ways of living but none of them is “certainly preferable”. They all have their own difficulties besides their own beauties.
  2. We able to adapt to any situation we if have to. We actually able to change in any sense. It’s possible. But we prefer staying where we feel pleased.
  3. All of our thoughts and beliefs are shaped accordingly our position. If we had different experiences, we look and see different. That’s why judging and condemning people is improper. No one is incomprehensible.
  4. Discovering ourselves is as educational as discovering the world outside. So, “traveling” can be inner as well.
  5. We all get from life exactly what we wanted. There are no excuses. If it didn’t happen, that means actually we didn’t want it to happen.
  6. If we able to dream anything, somehow we able to do it.
  7. We mostly tend to tolerate because we suppose that we have to. But nothing or no one is our only choice. We just need to discover what we truly want in our lives and be brave.
  8. Giving a break is something good. We may end up arriving where we were started -but this time we have the reason of being there. This time we sure that this is the place we should to be.
  9. If we move away from something, then we realize how it affects us. And when we know how anything affects us, life is getting more enjoyable.
  10. If we don’t have mental health or we don’t feel happy, we’re not able to achieve anything. So, we shouldn’t underestimate what makes us happy and gives us joy.
  11. If we are not able to help ourselves, we neither can’t help others.
  12. Difficulties and crisis are great teachers. They eventually enhance the quality of our lives.
  13. If there is a problem, we basically try to solve it. It’s okay. But what if we can’t see any problems? Are we sure that there isn’t any? Not noticing the existing problems much worse than having problems.
  14. Both being alone and surrounding by people are beneficial as well as they may be harmful. Adjusting the balance with social life is so critical.
  15. We don’t need to tell about ourselves. Somehow people understand, feel and see who we are indeed.

I’m sure that we agree on most of them. Let me know what you think!

Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Motivation, Philosophy

My Story

Can you imagine how would be life without internet, electronic devices and even electricity itself in this century?

How would be life as a vegan or a minimalist?


I’ve been questioning life for years. I have experienced many different lifestyles since I’m trying to find how should I live.

Mainly, I considered what is harmful and what is beneficial for both me and the earth. I got rid of the things that are damaging myself and the environment, while I continue with the things that seem to me good and useful. Mostly, I experienced anti-capitalist and healthy ways of living.

Every time, I accepted that I was only exploring. None of my journeys was “exactly the best”. Even today, after living accordingly a lot of different ideology, I can’t say that any of them was the correct way to follow. 


When I was at high school I used to have too many possessions like most of us. After starting collage, I ended up being a minimalist, gave away almost all my clothing, jewelry, shoes etc. till feeling myself floating in space!  I lived as a minimalist roughly for five years (now I call it “The Capitalist-Minimalism”, because minimalist practice is actually a capitalist movement, I’ll tell you later).

Achieving my goals, I focused on time management. To eliminate distractions, I quit social media and exited WhatsApp groups for years. I radically reduced using all electronic devices. I was checking out my mobile phone once a week and I used my PC even less frequently. I don’t remember how long, but I kept my mobile phone is switched off for many months. Also, I stopped using internet for six months -without any cheating. In the end, I found myself almost never using electricity. I know how crazy it sounds! 

Besides, to be healthy I tried veganism for a hundred days. And raw-food diet for a week. I quit sugar, followed gluten-free diet, avoided any food additives. Moreover, I quit make-up for years and didn’t buy any kind of packed self-care products even including shampoo or moisturizers.

Like I used eco-friendly cleaning products for my house, I wore clothing also made by natural and local materials. I stopped doing shopping from well-known brands and from malls.

And so on… 


I have learned so many and I want to share what I’ve learned so far with you. I keep questioning, searching and exploring. I’m still open for new discoveries. That’s what I want to document here also. 

If you wonder my answers for the questions above, keep reading my blog!