Since the beginning of the summer, I have been going through the hardest times of my life. During this time, I got angry many times and learned a lot about anger. I know there are many people who suffer from their anger. I want to share with you what I’ve learned about anger, solving problems, forgiveness and justice in a few posts.

Anger Is Not an Emotion

Anger is not an emotion. It is a signal. Therefore, when we feel angry, we must look for the reasons. We must try to understand exactly what bothers us, what the problem is, what we don’t want or want. Our anger should always direct us to fix things, change things, identify and solve our problems. We need to find out what the problem is and speak to the right person or people appropriately. Talking the right thing to the wrong person is just a waste of time and energy.

We Shouldn’t Blame Ourselves for Getting Angry

We can feel angry with a person or a situation. We should never feel guilty about our anger. There is no such thing as unfair or unwarranted anger. If we are angry, something has happened that we don’t want. Anger is a gift given to man. Anger is necessary and it is natural to be angry. We have it because we need it. Sometimes, thanks to our anger, we start to seek our rights and make our situations better. Sometimes anger gives us the motivation to fight against evil.

The Anger We Carry Harms Ourselves Most and Mainly

Sometimes we can carry an anger within us for years. This type of anger has not been utilized and is harmful. One of our proverbs says that the sharp vinegar damages the jar it is in (“keskin sirke küpüne zarar“). This means, the anger that a person keeps in her harms herself. This is an unhealthy state, and it is a state of obsession. This kind of anger hurts its owner.

Someone who cannot control her anger may become aggressive and cause physical or psychological harm to those around her. But the person who feels the anger will suffer the most from that anger. Whatever one does good or bad in life, she does to herself.

People with whom we are angry sometimes don’t even realize that we are angry with them. They may never even be aware of our feelings and thoughts about them. Even if they know our anger, they may not care about it as much as we do. In this case, almost nothing changes for the object of our anger, but we, the subject, continue to suffer.

We Will Always Have Reasons to Get Angry

We get angry with ourselves, others or what happened, but life is already full of undesired things. Throughout our lives, we will always face situations that we don’t like. We’ll get angry a thousand times. In such situations, we must know how to take advantage of our anger. We must recognize the signal and be able to accurately analyze what we feel and what we think. This is the first step in solving problems.

Life is like a game with hundreds of thousands of levels. As we overcome the challenge we face, we level up and a new challenge begin. This is necessary for human beings to mature and improve themselves. In such a setup, we can naturally get angry from time to time. But all we have to do is take advantage of our anger and beat that challenge to level up. Our anger shouldn’t let us down, on the contrary, it should enable us to act.

Whatever the external circumstances, we can maintain a calm and peaceful mood. It’s not easy but it’s possible.

In the following posts, I will tell you how we can take advantage of our anger to identify and solve our problems, and what to do when we get angry. Next, I’ll talk about forgiveness and justice (not from a usual point of view).

I will discuss the following questions in the next posts.

– Why should we forgive? Should we forgive?

– Is it worth it to forgive?

– Does it make sense to ask God for forgiveness for someone who has hurt us a lot?

– Is forgiveness giving up justice?

– What if justice isn’t all that important?

– What should you do if it costs you dearly to get justice?

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